What are YOU Talking About?

This article is not going to apply to everyone, but if you ever are responsible for someone and they are dependent upon you then it’ll apply. If you have a needy cat or a dog with anxiety, this may also be up your alley. But mostly this will be for a parent you is also a programmer. Managing your time is going to make you much happier than you think, it will require some discepline but it will release you from the frequent feeling of not getting anything done.

A Newborn Changes Things

At the time writing this I have a 5 month old daughter, she is our first daughter and second child. The first 4 months she slept pretty well, now she only contact sleeps with my wife which means our routines no longer exist. There is no going to the gym in the evening for my wife or I. We are not scheduling a regular set of things to do in the evening. This may make us seem like hermits but in reality we know this will only last so much longer and then we will have another child and start it all over!

When you have a new born or infant it’s a litle easier to lay the baby on your chest then open the laptop up to get some programming in. You have that at you disposal for the first few months. Then they start moving. And asking for things. And you will do some of those things, most of those things, and it will take a lot more of your time than you thought. It will exhuast you. It will absolutely fill you will life, I can’t even begin to explain the joy children bring. But they also bring an level of tired that you weren’t prepared for.

Get to the Point

Okay the point is you can still do the things you want to do. You have to understand that you aren’t going to neccessarily change the way life just is now, but you can change your expectations. You can also change your sleeping habits. This was my biggest revelation entering my thirties with one child.

I have typically gone to bed around 1AM. I was a night-owl, hell I still am one. But waking up at 9 or 10AM the weekend will leave you feeling like you’re getting nothing done. Because you’re not getting anything that you want to get done.

The Strategy

If your are using bottles to feed your kids, do not buy many bottles. You will inevitably use as many bottles as you have in any given day, you will spend far too much time cleaning bottles. Buy 2. When you use 1 clean it and put it in the drying rack immediately. A clean set of bottles always on-hand and an empty sink will well help your psyche. This may seem annoying and inconvenient but something you will notice in life is that if it is inconvenient now it will probably be more inconvenient later. By not doing the thing you notice you need to do immediately then you are essentially gambling, you are betting that it will be more convenient in the future than right now. Don’t do that. Don’t gamble.

You need to not be too naive to not realize things for simply how they are. If you want to go to the gym, you will wake up before your enitre family to do so. You know why your Dad and Grandpa wake up so damn early? It might be to get some things done. It might be that they couldn’t figure out a way to do the things they wanted or simply needed to do without doing it at the butt-crack of dawn. You should go to bed by 11PM. I don’t really mean 11PM, you should be sleeping 7-8 hours. So that might mean you are in bed by 9:30 or 10PM so you can wake up at 5 or 6AM. If you work 3rd shift or midnights then obviously you’re going to have to figure something else out and probably invert the times I’m suggesting.

My family typically doesn’t wake up until 9AM. That means if I am up by 6AM I have 3 whole hours to do whatever I need to do, quietly. I can go downstairs and start laundry. I can feed and let out my dogs. Do I want to work out because I actually can now? Once they are all awake, you must embrace the chaos. You must be in the moment. But when they are sleeping you must do the dishes. You should do laundry, yardwork, house keeping, anything you want and especially the things you need to do. Like you should probably shower.

The secret is literally just to wake up earlier than everyone else. Be Mark Wahlburg, be Jocko Wilink. Do the things you want to do, just probably not at all when you want to and you will see that getting things done is all that matters, not always when if it’s not literally time sensitive.

That’s all you have to do. Wake up earlier. I advise that over staying up later than everyone. In the famous words of my college wrestling coach, “Nothing good happens after midnight”.

Good luck out there!